 In a landmark study and New York Times best-selling book, Judith Wallerstein (with others) published her research on the impact of divorce among married couples entitled, "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce: Report of a 25-Year Study." Wallerstein's study was conducted with children who were "psychologically sturdy" and "had never been referred to counseling for emotional problems." The project was designed to look at divorce "under the best of circumstances." For a quarter of a decade, Wallerstein and company followed 131 children of divorce. What did the researchers discover at the end of the study when their subjects ranged from 28 to 43 years of age? "The central finding of this study is that parental divorce impacts detrimentally the capacity to love and be loved within a lasting, committed relationship." They found that "divorce begets fewer marriages, poorer marriages, and more divorces." When children experience the loss of trust and security through their parent's separation, they are less able to securely attach in a trusting and emotionally satisfying relationship with their own spouses. The original conflict may have been between a husband and wife, but the most significant damage is done to their children and their children after them.
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Recent research conducted by the Barna Group revealed two stunning facts: not only is the majority of the nation's non-churched population comprised of people who consider themselves Christians, but of these, almost 4 out of 10 stopped attending due to a painful church experience. Barna himself was "chewed up" three different times in three different congregations. He recalled, "it can be a shattering reality when your 'church home' becomes a place of rejection and suffering while you are doing your best to be part of the spiritual family. It turns your world upside down...." This is a serious problem. It diminishes the impact of a church's ministry. It also weakens an individual's personal faith. What starts out as a conflict between a few negatively impacts the many, perhaps for generations to come.
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